You used to call me on my house phone 

What happened to us? We used to be a society that could thrive on so little. At one point, there was no color tv. Now, every one has a Smart TV in their living rooms, bedrooms, family rooms, and some people even have TVs in their kitchen. We love to reminisce about the days we used payphones, beepers, flip phones, Nextels, etc. Now, we can’t leave the house without our smartphone. Now, we can’t go to the movies without checking in on  Facebook. We no longer need to remember phone numbers, birthdays, or how to get from Point A to Point B. Our handy dandy smartphones do it all. Have a question? Ask Siri. Want to know what Kim Kardashian is up to? Go on Instagram. Want to vicariously live through your friends who go clubbing every weekend? Go on Snapchat. We have the constant need to be stimulated and while we’ve progressed from beepers to iPhones, we still want more. I bet they’ll be a line outside every Apple Store once the iPhone 8 releases. And what will the iPhone 8 do that the iPhone 7 doesn’t do? Take better pictures of every meal you consume? Provide you with search results milliseconds faster than the iPhone 7? 

What happened to us? 

Why do we “need” so much more than we needed 10 years ago? And what will we “need” 10 years from now? Why do 5 year olds play on iPads instead of in the park? Why are 10 year olds killing people in video games but aren’t required to take a class about morals, self-love, and positivity? 

What happened to us? 

While I’m writing this blog with such passion, care, and a little bit of hopelessness, there’s a CEO being chauffeured around in a black SUV by an individual who probably struggles to get their rent paid on time. While we’re discussing Kylie Jenner’s plump lips and making memes about them, she’s making millions off of her cosmetic line. While we’re standing in line for cellphones, sneakers, and sample sales, someone else is making a profit while we’re losing our hard-earned cash. 

And with that being said, I’ll say what my grandma says to me all the time: the rich get richer while the poor get poorer. So all I ask is that you think about Wale’s lyric in ‘Diary,’ 

Do these material things materialize to a better you? 

Yours truly, 

The lesbian who just started watching Mr. Robot who is kind-of, sort-of, my spirit animal 

PS: If this blog post was of any interest to you, you should 1) listen to that song and 2) watch ‘Minimalism’ on Netflix. Thank me later 😉 

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But first, let me take a selfie.

I think that social media is great for some reasons. It’s an excellent way to reach a large number of people. If it weren’t for social media, it would be difficult to advertise my blog. If it weren’t for social media, many of us would not know what’s going on in other countries, let alone our own. However, I do believe that social media is misused at times.

I read an article earlier written by a woman whose husband hardly ever dedicates posts to her. I was specifically looking for an article about being perfectly fine with this. The reason being is because I’ve noticed how upset I get over social media. “Well, why won’t you put up a picture of us?” “Why aren’t I ever your #wcw?” “But, I post pictures of us/you.” “When are you going to hashtag about me?” “Well, how would you feel if I didn’t post pictures of us?” It’s a tad bit embarrassing to admit, but I’ve asked some of these questions. Then, I started to look at the bigger picture. I broke it down for myself all while watching the 50th Super Bowl (You can tell just how much I enjoyed the game). I wanted to be featured on Instagram so badly because I wanted the whole world to know just how much I’m loved and appreciated by my significant other. But then I realized, I am loved and appreciated regardless. A picture of me/us may not be posted  this Wednesday or next, but I’m sure I’ll be loved this Wednesday and next. It was a hard pill to swallow (also embarrassing to admit) but I realized that being posted on social media does not change or is reminiscent of the way someone feels about me. I also asked myself, “Well, what did people do before social media?” because believe it or not, there was a time when Facebook didn’t exist. Once I realized that relationships were fine and prospered before social media, I realized that receiving a card, a note, a love letter, or even a thirty second phone call to say, “I love you” is so much more meaningful than an Instagram post.

But wait, this isn’t the end of my rant!

We’re on social media so much that we forget about our own lives because we’re so concerned with the lives of others. We can go online and find out where others are eating, what they’re eating, who they’re eating with, what they’re going to do after they eat, and so on. We can go online and see that someone our age has a better paying job, a better car, a better apartment/house, etc. and the craziest thing is that before looking at their profile, we may have been completely satisfied with our lives. We’re constantly comparing our lives with the lives of others because it’s in our faces all the time. Most of us can’t put our phones down during dinner, a movie, or even a night out. Before eating, we HAVE to take a picture. When we’re out having a good time, we HAVE to record every minute of it. What if we just stopped and enjoyed it? What if our food came to our table and we ate it right away? We didn’t take a picture of it nor did we scroll through Instagram while eating it.

Social media is taking us away from the present.

Remember that every minute spent on social media is a minute you cannot get back.

And I’m not suggesting that we delete our Instagrams’ and Facebooks’, all I’m asking is that we pay closer attention to the role social media plays in our lives. Is it a positive one? Do you feel happier after scrolling through Instagram? How often are you comparing your life to someone else’s because of social media? Is it taking a toll on your relationship?

Stop scrolling and think. I promise it won’t hurt.

Yours truly,

The lesbian who is trying harder and harder every day to care less and less about social media

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Social media politics 

This is and has been a thing for quite some time. How about we take it back to MySpace and top 8? The first three spots on your top 8 were the most important, especially the first spot. Who was going to take that number one spot? Was it going to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Your best friend? What if you had multiple best friends? Although it’s JUST MySpace and it’s JUST a top 8, we let it define our relationships with others. While your number one friend on MySpace feels great to have “earned” that spot, the rest of your friends are pissed, especially if one of those friends has you as their number one friend on their top 8. For some reason, the real life connection between you and your friends didn’t matter the moment that you chose your top 8. Okay, but who uses MySpace anymore? We’ll move on to Facebook. I currently do not have a Facebook so I am unaware of all of its politics, but I do have something to speak on: your relationship status. Oh no silly, not your REAL relationship status. Your Facebook relationship status. Why would I care if you’re in a relationship in real life? What matters is if you’re in a relationship on Facebook. And if you are in a real relationship but your status on Facebook is single, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE. How could you not change it? How could you not claim your boyfriend/girlfriend to all of your Facebook friends? What, are you embarrassed? You don’t want your high school friends to know that you’re in a relationship? All of a sudden, someone’s cheating. Wait… WHAT? EXACTLY! These are the conversations between people in relationships. Conversations that are dictated by and a result of social media. Shall we move onto Instagram now? You BETTER have pictures of you and your significant other EVERYWHERE. Man crush Monday? Woman crush Wednesday? Throwback Thursday to our first Christmas? Flashback Friday to our first New Years? I want it all. And if I don’t get it, it will be a conversation and it won’t be a good one. Readers, you know I’m right. We’re all guilty of it. We’re guilty of wanting to be someone’s man crush Monday #mcm or woman crush Wednesday #wcw. We’re guilty of wanting our partner to immediately change their relationship status on Facebook. We’re guilty of jumping for joy at the sight of being in someone’s top 8, especially that number one spot. It’s almost natural for us to react in these ways. It’s almost as though we cannot help BUT to feel this way. We have to help ourselves. If your relationship is good, let it be good. Do not ruin it by constantly arguing with your partner about social media. There’s better things to argue about like what’s for dinner and what to do on Sunday fun day. 

Take a step back next time you find yourself allowing what’s behind a screen to dictate your emotions. 

Yours truly,

The lesbian who’s Instagram is @evelynandreaxo 

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