Are you sure you’re straight? 

Maybe this topic is redundant on my blog BUT I keep finding myself in the same situation. Let me explain: 

I had an interaction at work today with a young male who was obviously flirting with me. I proceeded to tell him that I have a girlfriend and he stopped in his tracks as men often do and asked, “So are you a lesbian or are you bi?” Now before I even answered that, I was thinking, “does it matter?” Not because I don’t identify with a particular sexuality but because I JUST informed him that I was in a relationship. Keyword: relationship. Anywho, I told him that I am indeed a lesbian. He then questioned my sexuality by asking if I’ll ever be with a man, so on and so forth. He said, “Well, how can you say never if you don’t know?” I proceeded to ask him if he was sure he was straight. Flabbergasted, he said yes, he knows what he is and knows what he likes. SO HOW IS MY SEXUALITY ANY DIFFERENT, SIR? This opened up a can of worms for me. 

I am absolutely sick and tired of people thinking and/or assuming that a woman’s sexuality is fluid, particularly when she identifies as a lesbian. Now this isn’t to say that sexuality can’t be fluid or that a woman who identifies as a lesbian will ALWAYS identify as a lesbian, but why is it assumed that there’s a possibility I’ll date a man in the future? And this goes back to our heteronormative society that assumes everyone is straight which means straight people don’t have to “come out of the closet” nor are they questioned about their sexuality. If someone identifies as straight, do we ask them, “Have you always been straight? When’d you know? How’d you tell your parents? Are you sure you’re straight?” Those questions are NEVER asked. If someone identifies as straight, particularly men, it is almost offensive if you ask them if they’re sure. A straight man with a fluid sexuality? How dare I even think that? 

This situation also leads me to think that if I were less feminine, men wouldn’t question my sexuality as often as they do. Do I have to wear baggy clothes and have a buzz cut in order to be taken serious? Why is it assumed that a feminine woman is straight? Here’s an FYI, lesbians come in all shapes and sizes. Oh and some of them even wear makeup, heels, dresses, etc. 


And wait, one more thing: STOP THINKING YOU CAN TURN A WOMAN OUT! In fact, if any “turning out” is happening, it’s probably a lesbian turning out a straight woman. 


That goes for Tyga and A$AP Rocky who have lyrics targeting lesbians. Here they are: 

“Car too fast, give a fuck about pedestrians 

And my section less niggas, more lesbians 

Got your bitch, I’m that nigga” – Tyga 

“I be fuckin broads like I be fuckin bored 

Turn a dyke bitch out, have her fuckin boys” – A$AP Rocky 

Did anyone bat an eye when hearing these lyrics? Would someone bat an eye if a mainstream rapper like A$AP Rocky said, “Turn a straight man out, have him fuckin boys”? My guess is that the Internet would go crazy. 

In conclusion, 

Yes, I like women. 

No, I don’t like men. 

No, I won’t like men in the future. 

No, you don’t have a chance. 

Sincerely yours, 

The lesbian who wants to be taken serious 

Same love 

I was deeply hurt over this past weekend. It wasn’t one particular person that hurt me and I wasn’t mad at anyone. But I was hurt in the way that I could’ve started crying at any given moment. And I did cry. A lot. I cried in my car. I cried in the shower. I even cried in front of my little sister which is something that I’ve probably done only a handful of times. I was so desperately trying to figure out why I was hurt. Where was all of this pain coming from? I eventually figured it out. I was hurt by the world. The world’s, or should I say society’s, perception of being gay is what hurt me. I realized that being straight really is easier. If I were a man, my girlfriend and I would never get looked at or questioned after sharing a kiss in public. We could hold hands in public without others’ eyes diverting downwards when they pass us on the street. We could show affection in public without men thinking it’s “hot” or an open invitation to come home with us. 

Being straight is easier. 

Straight people don’t ever have to sit their parents down and tell them, “I’m straight.” It’s already assumed that they are unless they dress “differently” or talk “differently.” You know, because all gay people dress a certain way. Feminine lesbians? Unheard of! Unless of course one is feminine and another is butch in which case the feminine one will probably get questioned more often. People have to figure out just how feminity and sexuality go hand in hand. How could a woman be feminine and be gay? IT’S POSSIBLE. 

So like I was saying, being straight is easier. There is no, “I’m going to tell my parents soon” or “I don’t know how to tell my family.” Coming out to your family and friends usually causes anxiety. You’re afraid of how they’re going to react. Oh and be ready for the same ole questions. 

Here’s a list: 

“Well, what about grandchildren?” 

“Have you always been gay?” 

“How do you guys.. You know?” 

“What about your ex boyfriends/girlfriends?” 

“Did something happen to you?” (This is the question asked when people think trauma has something to do with one’s sexuality. LOL.) 

“So, are you fully gay now?” 

“You know that it’s wrong, right?” (God will probably be brought up shortly after.) 

The list goes on and on. 

I was hurt because it’s unfair. It’s unfair that we have to hide who we really are in front of our loved ones. It’s unfair that I have to act like the best friend. It’s unfair that we have to sneak kisses. It’s unfair that I’m the one who can easily be resented. It’s unfair how I can make a woman happier than any guy ever has yet I can only be loved behind closed doors. But what’s really unfair is how, “You’re playing it off so well!” is supposed to be some kind of compliment. That’s the thing: I don’t want to have to play it off. I want the whole world to know that I love you and that you love me. The hashtag #lovewins is cute but clearly, love hasn’t won just yet. 

It’s so unfair.

Yours truly, 

The lesbian who can marry the one she loves in all 50 states but continues to be “less qualified” as another woman’s partner 

  

“I might be a good liar but my pussy isn’t.”

*WARNING*

The content in this blog may be shocking, upsetting, or even unbelievable for those who are in complete denial. 🙂

So let’s talk about sex. Many people are under the impression that “lesbians CAN’T have sex.” Many of these same people are also under the impression that lesbian sex equals scissoring. Being the lesbian that I am, though I don’t have experience with multiple partners, I can tell you that lesbian sex does not ALWAYS equal scissoring. However, I am going to say something that may upset many of you: lesbian sex IS better sex. Here’s why:

Women normally and typically have clitoral orgasms. CLITORAL AKA CLIT. The reason why I’m putting so much emphasis on this word is because, well, IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. No, but seriously, most women will not orgasm when their boyfriend is fucking them in the missionary position which tends to be the most common position between a man and a woman and of course this position causes a male to orgasm. But if you and your boyfriend are constantly fucking in the missionary position, when are YOU experiencing an orgasm? In fact, there is actually an orgasm gap between men and women. Men tend to orgasm more often than women do. Why is this? Because he isn’t stimulating your clit the way that motherfucker should be!

I was speaking to a friend about this earlier and she said two very depressing things: 1. her pleasure did not matter to her for awhile and 2. at one point in her life, she didn’t know that women experience orgasms. Heartbreaking, isn’t it? In many heterosexual relationships, the man’s pleasure is put before the woman’s pleasure. In fact, our society as a whole tends to place more importance on a man’s pleasure as opposed to a woman’s pleasure. Men ALWAYS get off, women normally don’t. Sorry to break it to you fellas, but she’s probably been faking it. Don’t believe me? Watch this YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3Q2L7YQ2Hk

So, do you guys get it yet? Women aren’t experiencing orgasms nearly as much as men are AND if you ever think she did, she was probably faking it. And they’re doing this all to protect your poor little ego so maybe you should try and find her clit. Once you do, lick it, rub it, do whatever you have to do until she ACTUALLY orgasms.

And no, I am not a man hater. But if all of these beautiful girls are going to be straight, I want to make sure that they’re cummin’ every single time! Yes ladies, this is possible. Show that man or even woman (for the less skilled lesbians or bisexuals) where that clit is!

It’s about damn time we start to focus on women’s sexual pleasure!

Yours truly,

The Clit-Loving Lesbian 😉

When did you come out the closet?

How long have you been straight for? Were you born straight? How do your parents feel about you being straight? Have you ever considered being with someone of the same sex? No? Why not? These questions are bizarre, aren’t they? Have you ever heard these questions be asked? I’m going to make the assumption that many of you have not. Because you probably haven’t heard these questions be asked to someone, you probably have never considered why. Why don’t we ask people these questions? Because everyone’s straight, right? WRONG! Those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc., are constantly asked these questions. Everyone is, or at least seems to be interested, in our “coming out story.” And don’t get me wrong, I’d love to answer each and every one of your questions, but what if I asked you, a straight individual, the same questions? Would you take offense to it? Would you think I’m odd? Shit, you probably already do think I’m odd.

I know, I know. You’re going to feed me that, “You’re not odd. I accept gay people,” bullshit. Yes, it’s bullshit. And yes, I’m angry. The best way I can put this is: we live in a society that prides itself on being open-minded yet we are completely close-minded. We accept gay people, but we still think it’s unnatural. We understand that she identifies herself as a lesbian, but we’re still going to tell her that she hasn’t found the right guy yet. We understand that she identifies herself as a lesbian, but we’re still going to ask her if she’d ever consider being with a guy. Well let’s see my straight female friend, DO YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING WITH A WOMAN? And to my straight male friend, DO YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING WITH A MAN? Let me guess, you’re offended. It’s because no one has ever questioned your sexuality. Why? Because your sexuality is “normal.”

Homosexuality used to be a mental illness in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (psyc people know what I’m talking about). Although they removed it many years ago, homosexuals are still treated as though they are “diseased.” I’m so dramatic, aren’t I? No, I’m not. Because if you’re telling me that I just need to find the right man, you’re also telling me that being with a man is a cure. A cure to my lesbianism.

My sexuality IS natural. I naturally love women. I adore women the same way that straight men adore women. Now stop questioning my sexuality before I start questioning yours.

Yours truly,

The angry lesbian.

gay af