If you think that being a lesbian is easy, you’re dead wrong.

humans of ny lesbian

As with anything else, this Humans of NY post may not resonate with you the way that it resonates with me. Furthermore, it may not resonate with heterosexuals the way in which it resonates with homosexuals. The reason being is because that’s the life that WE live.

Lesbians have to be cautious. Have to be, but most of the time are not. We have to be cautious with the women we’re attracted to and with the women that we fall in love with. Unfortunately, we cannot fall in love with ANY woman. Most of the time all we can do is admire a woman from afar. Why is this? Well, because most women that we interact with are straight women… or so that’s the way that they present themselves to the public. A straight woman can fall head over heels in love with a lesbian which is absolutely bittersweet for the lesbian because guess what? She may never pursue anything with you. Will she think about you for the rest of her life? Absolutely. Will she miss you once she leaves you heartbroken? Absolutely. But she may never be with you. And so we ask the question again, why is this? Well there’s a plethora of reasons. The biggest being that it’s simply more “convenient” to be straight. You don’t have to come out to your family and friends. You don’t have to worry about how you’re going to have kids. You don’t have to explain to your boss that the ring on your finger was given to you by a woman. Basically, that’s just it. Being straight means that you don’t have to explain yourself.

I do feel for the straight woman who has fallen in love with a lesbian. I completely understand that it takes time to tell your family and friends that you’re dating a woman. I completely understand that you aren’t comfortable holding hands and kissing in public all the time. But, how do you think it feels to be on the other side of that? It’s easy to feel as though we’re being hidden and being hidden comes with feelings of not being good enough. It’s frustrating to know that introducing the new man in your life to your family and friends is a no-brainer whereas introducing the new woman in your life is a process. “I’m going to tell her today” or “I’m going to tell him when he’s in a better mood.” You have to set up a time to tell your family and friends that a woman is the person who’s making you happy. You have to set up a time to tell your family and friends that a woman gives you butterflies when she calls you beautiful. You have to set up a time to tell your family and friends that you’re the happiest you’ve ever been. Shouldn’t the way this person makes you feel be the focal point of the conversation as opposed to their gender?

As a lesbian, I sometimes feel inadequate. I feel this way because others say and do things that make lesbians feel inadequate. Sometimes, even the people closest to them make them feel inadequate.

Yours truly,

The adequate according to my terms lesbian

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No silicone. 

One of my friends asked me what my coming out story is and it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how unacceptable homosexuality continues to be. We love to say, “put yourself in my shoes,” but I’m not sure if we all know what that means. Plus, most straight people can’t even imagine what being gay is like. Here’s another flaw with our society, but I’m not going to get into it… Just yet. What I’d like to do is help people walk in the shoes of someone who is gay. But actually walk in their shoes, not pretend to. Here it goes.. 

Have you ever had someone tell you any of the following things? 

1. You can’t wear that 

2. You can’t say that 

3. You can’t buy that 

4. You can’t eat that 

5. You can’t feel that 

6. You can’t drink that 

7. You can’t touch that 

Have you ever had someone dictate your life? (Keyword: your). When you tell someone who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, or queer that they CAN’T be who they are, you’re attempting to dictate their life. You’re dictating their life the same way your parents may have dictated and continue to dictate yours. The same way a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife may have tried to dictate yours. The same way a teacher may have tried to dictate your life. Think about the times you’ve heard the word “can’t.” Think about how you felt when someone told you that you can’t do something. I bet you felt the urge to do the complete opposite. You probably wanted to turn those CANTS into CANS. You probably wanted to make choices on your own. You probably wanted to live your life based on your standards, not someone else’s. Let’s all do each other a favor and stop trying to dictate someone else’s life. 

Love is natural. 

Therefore, being gay IS natural. 

Yours truly,

The natural lesbian 😉