This is and has been a thing for quite some time. How about we take it back to MySpace and top 8? The first three spots on your top 8 were the most important, especially the first spot. Who was going to take that number one spot? Was it going to be your boyfriend/girlfriend? Your best friend? What if you had multiple best friends? Although it’s JUST MySpace and it’s JUST a top 8, we let it define our relationships with others. While your number one friend on MySpace feels great to have “earned” that spot, the rest of your friends are pissed, especially if one of those friends has you as their number one friend on their top 8. For some reason, the real life connection between you and your friends didn’t matter the moment that you chose your top 8. Okay, but who uses MySpace anymore? We’ll move on to Facebook. I currently do not have a Facebook so I am unaware of all of its politics, but I do have something to speak on: your relationship status. Oh no silly, not your REAL relationship status. Your Facebook relationship status. Why would I care if you’re in a relationship in real life? What matters is if you’re in a relationship on Facebook. And if you are in a real relationship but your status on Facebook is single, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE. How could you not change it? How could you not claim your boyfriend/girlfriend to all of your Facebook friends? What, are you embarrassed? You don’t want your high school friends to know that you’re in a relationship? All of a sudden, someone’s cheating. Wait… WHAT? EXACTLY! These are the conversations between people in relationships. Conversations that are dictated by and a result of social media. Shall we move onto Instagram now? You BETTER have pictures of you and your significant other EVERYWHERE. Man crush Monday? Woman crush Wednesday? Throwback Thursday to our first Christmas? Flashback Friday to our first New Years? I want it all. And if I don’t get it, it will be a conversation and it won’t be a good one. Readers, you know I’m right. We’re all guilty of it. We’re guilty of wanting to be someone’s man crush Monday #mcm or woman crush Wednesday #wcw. We’re guilty of wanting our partner to immediately change their relationship status on Facebook. We’re guilty of jumping for joy at the sight of being in someone’s top 8, especially that number one spot. It’s almost natural for us to react in these ways. It’s almost as though we cannot help BUT to feel this way. We have to help ourselves. If your relationship is good, let it be good. Do not ruin it by constantly arguing with your partner about social media. There’s better things to argue about like what’s for dinner and what to do on Sunday fun day.
Take a step back next time you find yourself allowing what’s behind a screen to dictate your emotions.
The lesbian who’s Instagram is @evelynandreaxo
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WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?!?!?!?! I’m not happy with where I am but have no idea where I want to be. I mean, I know I want to travel the world. I know that I want to be successful. I know that I want a house to call my own. I know that my bucket list expands every day. I know that I want to experience the most out of life. But I don’t know how to make it happen. Oh and did I mention that mediocrity and I don’t get along? My goals are unlike others. I don’t dream of being settled in a career or being married with kids by a certain age. I don’t dream of cookie cutter houses and white picket fences. I don’t jump at the idea of a 9 to 5 job. However, I do jump at the idea of not working and spending a complete year of my life traveling. But tricks are for kids and thousands of dollars isn’t going to appear in my wallet tomorrow morning so there goes that. No but seriously, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? WHAT AM I PASSIONATE ABOUT? WHAT IS GOING TO MAKE ME HAPPY? I’ll tell you what though; I do have a pipe dream. I want to be well-known. Not 1.2 million followers on Instagram known but maybe like 500k? I want to be known for these blogs that I write, for the conversations I have with people, for the knowledge that I spread. Am I the lightest bulb in the tanning bed (movie [Juno] reference)? Absolutely not. And do I know everything there is to know about women and gender studies? Absolutely not. But I think I know more than your average Jo (I’ll keep the E out just because I hate how gendered our language is). I think that I may just have some insight to provide to my friends who may not know the difference between a transgender and a transsexual. Or I may have some insight in regards to sexism. Or ageism. Or sizeism (yes, this is a thing).
Side note (a result of my mind running a mile a minute): whenever I write, my mom always asks if I came up with it off the top of my head. She pretty much wants to know how long it takes me to think of these blog posts, to formulate the ideas. I always tell her that yes, it comes off the top of my head and no, it doesn’t take me very long at all. Talking about race, class, and gender comes naturally to me. This is how I know that it’s my passion. I guess the issue that I’m having with it is: HOW DO I APPLY IT? I highly doubt Indeed has job posts for people like me.
But another issue that I have? MOTIVATION. I’m always passionate about gender issues but am not always motivated to write blogs or to read on the subject matter or to do anything at all. How is this going to take me anywhere if I’m lazy? If I half ass it?
I’m not sure how entertaining this blog post is going to be and I’m not sure if it’s relatable but writing is my favorite way to vent. So, here it is.
Conclusion? Moral of the story?
I am my own worst enemy.
The soul-searching lesbian
I have to start practicing what I preach. I constantly tell my friends not to succumb to society’s standards but I do so myself. Kind of.
I’m a woman. I’m a gay woman. Unfortunately, the two sentences have two very different meanings for many people. Saying that I’m a woman holds a different weight than saying that I’m a gay woman. Some people think that gay women are inherently different from straight women. While we may be different in a few areas, it’s important for everyone to remember that a woman is a woman regardless of her sexual orientation.
Okay so now that I’m done with that rant, let me talk about what I really wanna talk about..
I sometimes struggle with the woman I am. I struggle with it because I’m not the woman that many people want me to be. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t enjoy wearing heels, and my purse collection is slim to none. Designer handbags don’t get me off. Neither do new shoes. Sneakers on the other hand? Sneakers make me genuinely happy. Sweatpants? Sweatpants make me genuinely happy. But enjoying these things makes me feel like less of a woman and I don’t want to feel that way. I don’t ever want to be referred to as manly or masculine whether it’s because of the way I dress or the way I act. Don’t ever say to me, “you’re acting like a guy.” I will be insulted. Regardless of how I act, I never want to be compared to a man. Why? Simply because I am a woman. I am a woman who loves women and having to explain that to others is frustrating. Why can’t a woman love women without being asked why or without giving an explanation? Why can’t men understand that lesbians love the same things they love about women AND THEN SOME? I am a woman who is not afraid of killing bugs. I won’t scream at the site of a spider. I am a woman who doesn’t own much jewelry. However, I do feel incomplete when I don’t have earrings on. I am a woman who doesn’t wear heels often but almost always has her toes done. I am a woman who doesn’t expect a man to hold the door open for her. I am a woman who doesn’t try to impress other people by acting like someone that I’m not. I am a woman with a sailor’s mouth. I am a woman who has trouble with the term “ladylike.” I do not have to cross my legs and I do not have to burp quietly. I am a woman who can and will do what she wants when she wants. I am a woman with little to no hair on her tongue. I will ask you outrageous questions and I will burst your bubble. I am a woman who cannot be put into a box. I am a woman who will get readily offended when referred to as less than a woman.
Women come in all shapes and sizes. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I act a certain way or that I react a certain way. It doesn’t mean that I dress a certain way. Or that I like certain things. Keep in mind that every woman is different.
The feminine lesbian despite Google’s definition of feminine